


Don't You Ever All Hang Out Together?

by the_empty_man



Category: Ghosts (TV 2019)
Genre: And so do I, Basically I love Pat, Fluff and Humor, Gen, He believes that this is a found family story, I am convinced that all the clubs the ghosts have are down to Pat, I can't imagine any of the others setting them up, Little bit of trauma but only briefly, Mention of Pat's death, he is trying very hard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-04
Updated: 2020-10-04
Packaged: 2021-03-07 21:07:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26824153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_empty_man/pseuds/the_empty_man
Summary: Pat has only been dead for a week, but he's already determined to introduce something new to the social life (or lack thereof) of the Button House ghosts.
Relationships: Pat & The rest of the ghosts, The Captain & Pat (Ghosts TV 2019)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 102





	Don't You Ever All Hang Out Together?

The Captain had just set off for his afternoon patrol of the grounds, when he heard his name being called. Looking back towards the house, he saw Pat sprinting across the lawn towards him, neckerchief flapping in the wind. The Captain sighed, but he waited for Pat to reach him.

When he did, Pat was rather out of breath.

“Sorry, give me a moment.” He leant down, hands on his knees, panting heavily.

“Is everything alright Patrick?” the Captain asked. He didn’t yet know Pat well enough to judge whether his eagerness indicated an emergency.

“Yes, I just- I just wanted to talk to you about something,” Pat said. From his cheerful tone, the Captain inferred that nothing awful had happened, in which case there was no good reason for Pat to interrupt the Captain’s patrol.

“Can someone else deal with it?” the Captain said, curtly.

"Well, I wanted to talk to the person in charge," Pat said. It was a pretty blatant attempt at manipulation via flattery, but the Captain had to concede that he wanted important issues to be reported to him as the commanding officer. Who knew what kind of nonsense might result if Pat went to one of the other ghosts for advice?

"Alright then. You can walk with me.” He set off again along his usual route. Pat followed, talking two steps for each of the Captain’s strides. "What did you want to talk about?"

"I was just wondering…” Pat hesitated. “Is it always this quiet here?"

The Captain thought about it. "I suppose there’s normally a few more visitors than there were this week. And from time to time, Heather hosts a party.

"Actually, I meant among the ghosts," Pat clarified.

The Captain harrumphed. "You've got a funny idea of quiet if you think that nonsense Robin's been chanting all week qualifies as quiet! And as for Thomas' dammed recitals…" He shook his head, restraining himself back from a full rant about disorderliness among the ranks of the dead at Button House.

"But everyone seems to just do their own thing all week. Don't you ever all hang out together?"

"There's the weekly meetings,” the Captain said, a touch defensively. He was proud of having established those meetings. Heaven knew it was difficult to round everyone up on a Monday morning, but it was important to have a regular occasion at which all the ghosts could report and discuss any developments connected with the house and its occupants. The main business at the last meeting had been Pat’s official introduction to the group, but they'd also had the usual discussion about the plans and activities of the household’s living members.

"Don't get me wrong, Cap, I think the meetings are great!” Pat said, giving a thumbs up. “They're just very… functional. Don't you ever all get together just for fun?"

"People spend time together when they want to spend time together," the Captain said. On the whole, the social life of the Button House ghosts was something he was indirectly aware of, rather than something he participated in.

"But that way people might get left out,” Pat insisted. “Wouldn’t it be nice to properly arrange some social time?"

The Captain stopped walking. Pat, who had been lagging a couple of steps behind, was forced to stop abruptly, which the Captain liked to think highlighted his authority. Turning to face Pat, he pulled himself into his most military posture. "Look Patrick, things have been running perfectly smoothly here for decades.” He waved his swagger stick to emphasise the point. “There's no need to go disrupting it with some notion that we should all be best pals.”

"Oh, okay, " said Pat in a subdued tone. He glanced back at the house, as though considering heading back there. Then he took a deep breath and looked back at the Captain. "It's just that when I was alive... I was good at helping people have fun together. I thought maybe I could do something like that here, arrange some cool activities for everyone."

Hearing Pat’s voice shake on the word ‘alive’ reminded the Captain that Pat had only been dead for seven days. The Captain thought back to how hard he'd found the first few months after his own death. The first thing that had really helped was setting up the weekly meetings; they made him feel like a leader again. In the Captain’s experience, one of the hardest things about dying was no longer being able to contribute to the goals he had dedicated his life to. Of course, Pat’s scout group was less important than the military objectives that had dominated the Captain’s life. But Pat’s sense of purpose had still been snatched away from him.

“Don’t worry about it, it was just an idea,” Pat said, shaking the Captain out of his thoughts. The dejection in Pat’s voice made up the Captain’s mind. If some group activities would help Pat settle into death at Button House, then the Captain would make sure they happened.

"Actually, I think it’s a jolly good idea!” the Captain declared. It was worth feigning enthusiasm to see Pat’s face break into a grin.

***

That evening, Pat stood fidgeting in a corner as the Captain ushered the other ghosts into the library. With varying degrees of reluctance and disinterest, they all took their seats. The Captain called them to order with his signature throat-clearing.

"Right, listen up,” he ordered. “I've called this meeting because our newest recruit has a suggestion to make." He nodded towards Pat, who, realising that this was his cue, stepped forward and faced the assembled ghosts.

"Hello everyone!" He gave an awkward wave, trying to work out how best to explain his proposal. "I’ve had an idea for a fun way that we can spend time together. As you probably already know, I am - I was - a Scout Leader. And in my troop-".

"Don't think we follow example of your troop," Robin interrupted, with a throaty laugh, miming an arrow entering his neck. Pat gasped sharply. The memory of his death was still too fresh for jokes like that. He brought a hand up to touch the arrow lodged in his neck. The thoughts that he had been trying to avoid surged forward in his mind: he had been a careless Scout leader, his death was his own fault, he had traumatised the children he was meant to care for....

"No interruptions, Robin," the Captain said sharply. The caveman apologised. He seemed sincere. Pat wasn’t angry; how could someone who’d been dead for millennia remember what it was like to have died a week ago? Nonetheless, he’d been thrown off his rhythm. He took a few deep breaths to calm himself.

"Well, in my troop - I came up with this idea that - sometimes - about twice a year I suppose - we'd have a meeting where each boy would give a presentation on something he was interested in. All sorts of topics!” The memory of their enthusiasm allowed him to push thoughts about his death to the back of his mind. “Star Wars, roller-skating, space exploration, The Beano…” As he spoke, he pictured each child, thinking fondly of how he’d drawn them out of their shells. He’d loved seeing their excitement at being taken seriously by a grown-up. “I remember one boy was really interested in the Victorian times, Fanny!"

"I'm Edwardian!" exclaimed Fanny, indignant. "And it's Lady Button to you."

"Sorry," Pat said, sheepishly. He was rather scared of her. "Anyway, I thought we could do something similar here! We all have very different areas of knowledge and it would be interesting to share them.” The other ghosts didn’t look very convinced. Maybe an example would help. He addressed the first ghost his eyes fell upon. “Thomas, what's something you know a lot about?"

"The anguish of a tortured soul," Thomas said dramatically, holding his arm out in a Shakespearian gesture and almost hitting Mary on the nose.

"Okay…" It wasn't the sort of answer that Pat had been hoping for. "Perhaps Thomas could give a talk about poetry." Many of the other ghosts groaned. Pat was determined not to be put off. "And the Captain could tell us about military tactics." There was another groan, which Pat also ignored. "People could talk about events that happened when you were alive, or books you liked, or your favourite music, or anything really!"

"I think it's a wonderful idea!" Kitty squealed, clapping her hands. "I can't wait to tell everyone about the balls that my sisters went to!"

"Thank you, Kitty. I look forward to hearing about that," Pat said, grateful to at least have one person's whole-hearted support. "Who else is willing to give it a try?"

"I'll join in. I could give a great talk on all the gossip from Henry VIII's court." Humphrey's head said from his body's lap.

"I's not a very good speaker." Mary said nervously, giving off a small puff of smoke.

"That's alright," Pat said in a reassuring tone. "We're still interested in what you have to say. I'm sure no one else here knows as much about…" Pat panicked, suddenly realising that - despite his belief that everyone's contributions were valuable - he had no idea what Mary's area of expertise might be.

Luckily, Kitty came to his rescue by enthusiastically yelling "cows!"

"Yes, I'm sure no one else here knows as much about cows as Mary does," Pat finished.

"Tis true," Mary conceded. "None of thems 'as ever even touched an udder. I will try to tell what I knows."

"Well, I think this all seems like a dreadful waste of time!" declared Fanny, disapprovingly.

"With all due respect, Lady Button,” Pat said, surprising himself with his own bravery, “time is the one thing we seem to have quite a lot of!"

"He not wrong there!" Robin acknowledged. "New way to pass time is good. If you no interested, you no join in," he told Fanny, who bristled.

“We shall put it to the vote,” proclaimed the Captain. “All in favour of setting up...” he paused, presumably unsure what to call it.

“Talk Club,” offered Pat. It wasn’t the most inspiring name, but it was accurate.

“All in favour of setting up Talk Club, raise your hands now.” Kitty, Mary, and Robin’s hands went up immediately. Thomas put up his hand too, but with a manner that suggested he was above such things.

“My body’s not listening, but I’m voting in favour,” said Humphrey’s head. He noticed that Lady Button’s hand remained in her lap. “Come on Fanny, don’t be a sourpuss.”

“I guess it can’t do any harm,” Fanny admitted reluctantly. She raised one hand very slightly.

“Motion carried unanimously,” the Captain announced. “The first meeting of Talk Club will be at 1800 hours this Friday. Speak to me about what you want to talk about, and I’ll draw up a timetable.”

“Before you all go, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone,” Pat said earnestly. “I can’t wait to learn more about you all and your lives! Being here for all eternity might seem like a daunting prospect, but together we can make it fun!” Despite the rather lukewarm reaction to this speech, Pat was feeling - for the first time since he’d died - that Button House could be a home for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'd absolutely love it if you could leave a comment to say hi or tell me what you think! Either way, have a lovely day!
> 
> Also I know that the clubs that we see in the show are on more specific topics (e.g. Food Club and Music Club), but I like to imagine that it started out as a more general concept and then Pat introduced the specific topics later on.


End file.
